​Recently I was privileged to join a group of Patty Burgin-trained coaches (SeattleCoach) on a white water adventure with Cascade Leadership Challenge, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing leadership and outdoor adventure opportunities to youth ages 14-20. This is the kind of enterprise where the youth are in charge, with support and guidance from adults.
After the 11-mile trip down the Tieton, we debriefed with the CLC youth over a potluck meal. As the conversation went back and forth with these self-assured youth, they offered a number of lessons they have learned rafting the river.
The one most often heard is the power of feedback. In the natural world, they remind us, feedback is constant and impersonal. The river doesn’t care about you, one way or another. If you fall in the river, you get to deal with it. And in part because these youth, with the wise guidance of their elders, have become not only competent in their technical skills and knowledge but also in their teaming or togetherness, they get to hold themselves accountable. And, with the river (and mountains and oceans) as a metaphor and a model, they can give each other feedback that is constant and impersonal.
What’s the lesson for us in our organizational worlds, indoors and shielded from the clear feedback from our environment? Here are three questions to consider:
What does continual and impersonal feedback look like? It can be about task, process, attitude or intention. It should be guided by standards or norms that are known to the participants, just as they are known for the outdoors: the water is wet, it is cold; the wind and sun and humidity are all knowns.
 
How do you give and receive it? Start with kindness and compassion. Move to standards and expectations. Identify what the vision is, what the goals are. Have a discussion about what the perceptions are, what the theories of action are that accompany one’s approach. Get connected and stay connected.
 
How do you manage the emotional reactivity that arises for oneself and others when feedback of any kind is given? Recognizing the reaction is a start, so that you don’t lapse into an unconscious pattern state. Dealing with the emotions as they arise is next: keeping attention on what is happening. Identifying action choices in the moment completes the cycle.
Feedback: giving and receiving. A key to success.

​My wife is a writer. Part of her work with other writers involves participating in writers’ groups. Most of these involve the writer reading her work and receiving feedback from others about that work.
 
Writers, like all of us, are looking for recognition, perhaps even more so than those of us who get some kind of feedback about our work in the world on an hourly basis throughout the day. So, when another writer praises the work you have just read, it naturally triggers that ego-glow. What happens when the feedback is not on the praise end of the continuum? The ego-defense typically gets triggered, and creativity, graciousness, balance and other good qualities are put at risk.
 
For any of us, the rush to judgment about you-name-it happens quickly, automatically. As the critiquer, it can be an opportunity to highlight our “strengths:” critical thinking, expertise, competence. Usually, we are responding to an ego need above all.
 
What if we were to suspend judgment? Just that: hold whatever is said in our realm of attention as though we were cradling a new-born, holding it secure for the moment in a larger space while we took a good look at it: Is it smiling? Making noises? Breathing evenly? With this living being in my arms, what am I curious about?
 
Next time you recognize the urge to rush to judgment, take a step back and ask:

• What is the thought, the emotion, that is trying to be born at this moment?
• What does it trigger in me as a response? What is there in the thought or emotion that I can be appreciative of?
• What am I curious about? How can I ask for more information without going to judgment?

 
Judgment, evaluation, decision-making: these are all important as we move ahead in our lives and our workplaces. We just go there way too quickly most of the time. Try a break from the ego responses by moving first to appreciation and inquiry. 

These are the words of Cascade Leadership Challenge adult leader Mark Steelquist. He’s referring to the 14 to 20 year olds who have been part of the CLC outdoor challenge activities, and what they’ve learned from their participation in the program. Before we get to what they’ve learned, it’s important to understand how they’ve learned. Generally speaking, these youth (male and female) are connected to each other, the adults in the program, and others in the world through outdoor challenge activities, including river rafting, sea kayaking, rock/mountain climbing, and other outdoor activities that require team work, unforgiving and impersonal feedback, and the development of survival skills and the competencies that go with each of the activities. Foundational elements of the program are cooperation, equity and shared responsibility, and these elements drive the choice of activities and the development of leadership capacity for each of the participants.
 
After a white water rafting trip down the Tieton, a number of life and leadership coaches had the chance to debrief with Mark and the CLC youth. We asked them what they have learned. The lessons include understanding that they get continual and impersonal feedback from the natural world; that they need to work together; that they need to hold each other accountable; and that making a decision quickly and with confidence to follow a pathway is generally more important than which pathway to follow. And, to bring us back to Mark’s quote, that each day’s event is an opportunity for learning.
 
So, what will these youth know what to do when they run into something they’ve never seen before? They’ll know to trust themselves and each other. They’ll know to lean into the experience and give it their full attention. They’ll know the world is a glorious and unforgiving place. They’ll know there’s something there for them to learn from and to share with others.
 
What are your preparations to know what to do when you run into something you’ve never seen before?
Who and what will you trust?
How will you direct your attention?
How will you lean into the experience, connect with others and the world?